


Christmas Magic or Always Read the Fine Print

by whiskygalore



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Bottom Jensen, Christmas Fluff, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 19:10:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1097585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiskygalore/pseuds/whiskygalore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>J2 are best friends with occasional benefits who work for Santa Claus. This year, one of them looks as though he’s overindulged in the Christmas cookies. Or possibly not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Magic or Always Read the Fine Print

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: This is my mpreg Xmas exchange gift for scarletphoenix1. So... scarletphoenix1, I kind of feel the need to apologise. I originally wrote an angsty Dean/Cas College Au fic but unfortunately it stuttered to a halt at around the two and a half thousand word mark. Then this ridiculous fic just happened! I tried to include some of your likes and although it probably wasn't what you had in mind, I'm hoping it covers your friends with benefits request. This is the crackiest piece of fluff and nonsense I have ever written - I hope you like it.

Jensen didn't think he'd ever been so relieved to see the end of Christmas Eve. Oh sure, he said the same thing every darn year but this year he _definitely_ meant it!  
  
Shaking the powdery dusting of snow from his coat, Jensen hung it up to dry on the wooden peg by his front door. Next he kicked off his sturdy leather work boots and, with a groan of relief, stretched out his green socked toes. Thank goodness the health and safety committee had insisted that the old fashioned shoes with their toe-pinching points be consigned to the recycling centre along with the useless droopy velvet hats and their ridiculous silver bells. Santa may have had a tantrum worthy of the naughtiest child, stomped about in a bad temper for days complaining to everyone within earshot about the tragic loss of tradition but the significant decrease in complaints of tinnitus, migraines and crippling bunions spoke for themselves. If only Santa could be persuaded to let them swap out the stretchy pants and garish woollen sweaters for some practical denim jeans and soft flannel shirts… then Jensen would be a much happier elf. He didn't know who'd originally designed the workforce’s uniforms but harboured a strong suspicion that it was a colour-blind imp with a velvet fetish. Red and green should never be seen - sacred words of wisdom in Jensen's opinion!  
  
Still, one thing the elasticated pants were good for was stretching out around Jensen's expanding waistline and the chunky sweater did a marvellous job of covering up the unmistakable bulge of his belly.  
  
Sighing, Jensen walked through his modest little cottage, flipping on the gas central heating and switching on the multi-coloured lights decorating his Christmas tree before wandering through to his narrow galley kitchen. Grabbing the milk from his refrigerator, he set about making a comforting mug of hot chocolate in an effort to distract himself from the issue that was becoming increasingly hard to ignore.  
  
Sometimes being an elf sucked. Being an elf who worked in the North Pole surrounded by a thick blanket of magic sucked even more. Sure… the job description had sounded good: The opportunity to work in a positive and happy environment, job security - unheard of in this day and age, the opportunity to develop your skills, plenty of positive feedback - thank you letters were always wonderful to receive - and a charismatic and generally jolly boss.  
  
The benefits were nothing to sneeze at either; free on-site accommodation, a never ending supply of candy canes and of course comprehensive elfcare. True, Misha the on-site healer who was half fairy, half human - and no, Jensen didn’t want to think about the logistics of that - was… well, lets just say slightly eccentric. He was however a genius at healing the usual problems; glue stuck where it shouldn't be, repetitive strain injuries, toothache: see never ending supply of candy canes, and the odd over enthusiastic nibble from a reindeer. What the job description hadn't covered unfortunately were the possible side-effects of living surrounded by dangerously high levels of magic.  
  
When he'd diagnosed Jensen's worrying weight gain and sudden queasy reaction to his usual cup, or three, of morning coffee as male-elf pregnancy, Misha hadn’t even appeared remotely surprised. He’d barely looked up from where he was intently painting his toenails fuchsia. Elves who worked and lived in a magical atmosphere and partook in carnal activities with fellow elves apparently shouldn't be shocked to find themselves pregnant. Not Shocked! Jensen had nearly keeled over. He wasn’t overly proud to remember the way he’d ranted and raved like an irate leprechaun about suing Santa’s big red velvet ass. Misha had listened patiently to his outraged squawking until his nail polish had dried then he’d very calmly shown Jensen a small passage in the employee handbook: _Santa Claus Inc. accepts no liability for any issues/damages/strange occurrences/conditions/side-effects related to living/working in close proximity to elevated levels of magic._ ‘Always read the fine print, young Padawan,’ had been Misha’s sage but somewhat late advice.  
  
Well, Jensen sure had learnt that lesson the hard way. Eventually, he had come to terms with being pregnant but still, he wished that someone had warned him a bit sooner of the dangers of living in the North Pole. Maybe he wouldn't have been quite so keen to be the bottom half of his and Jared's little arrangement had he known of the possible consequences. Oh, who's he kidding, of course he would have. The first sighting of Jared's impressive erection bulging against his skin tight pants had Jensen drooling in anticipation and ensured his friend top billing in Jensen's X-rated fantasies ever since. Had he known the risks however, he at least would've insisted that Jared wrap up his dick before allowing it anywhere near his suddenly magical ass.  
  
Jensen couldn't stop a smile from tugging his lips up at the corners when he thought about Jared. Jared the big excitable goofball with an infectious dimpled smile, shaggy untameable hair, rock hard abs that demanded to be worshipped and an ass you could bounce a chocolate coin off of.  
  
It was possible that Jensen was a little bit completely in love with Jared. Not that he would ever dream of telling him that. He'd never risk losing his best friend, couldn't even contemplate having a Jared-shaped hole in his life if the poor guy (understandably) freaked out. As far as Jared was concerned, they were just good friends. Good friends that spent an inordinate amount of time together and occasionally ended up fucking like horny bunnies on Jensen’s couch, but nothing more.  
  
Jared was four years younger than him, gorgeous, full of fun and popular while Jensen was a frequently grumpy control freak, soft around the middle - even before he'd had the excuse of being nearly five months pregnant - and enjoyed working alone in his tiny department of clockwork toys. They were polar opposites with a relationship that was as wonderful as it was unlikely. One day, pretty soon, Jared was bound to realise what a boring grouch his best friend was, then one of the pretty elves with their curvaceous bodies, shiny waves of dark hair and tinkling laughs would succeed in catching his eye and he'd find much better ways to while away his free-time than eating buttery popcorn - and if Jensen was very lucky, eating something else as well; Jared's tongue was long and very strong - while watching movies on his couch. Jensen wouldn't even blame him.  
  
He'd repeated this theory to Santa Claus - minus any mention of Jared's tongue - last week when explaining why he couldn't be on his team for eggnog pong at this year’s New Year’s Eve party. Santa had patted his head somewhat patronisingly and simply told him he needed to tell Jared why he was avoiding him and stop blaming the way his backside was filling out his pants more snugly than usual on Mrs. Clause’s double chocolate chip cookies. The old guy hadn't even been shocked to learn that Jensen was knocked up or that it was Jared that had done the knocking. He did suggest, with a concerned look at Jensen's flourishing baby bump, that Jensen consider a caesarean section or lots and lots of drugs. Santa may have had a good point. There was a rumour, more than likely started by Santa himself – he was the biggest gossip in the North Pole, that somewhere in Jared's bloodline was a little bit of yeti. Jensen wasn't exactly small of stature himself, but yes Jared was taller than even Santa and the idea of naturally squeezing out a baby Sasquatch made Jensen wince and clench his buttocks in fear.  
  
Reaching up, Jensen grabbed a packet of marshmallows from the shelf, only briefly glancing at the unopened bottle of brandy he would much rather have laced his hot chocolate with after such a chaotic day. Popping a generous handful of fluffy marshmallows into his mug before topping it off with a squirt of whipped cream and a sprinkling of grated chocolate, he breathed in the heavenly scent and felt some of the tension in his shoulders ease away. He carried it through to his living room, more than ready to sit down, enjoy the blessed peace and quiet, relax and put the stress of the busiest day of the year firmly behind him. Sadly, before he had the chance to accomplish even the first stage of this plan there was a bone-jarring thumping on his door that could mean only one thing: Jared.  
  
Setting his drink down carefully on a mat on his coffee table, he answered the door quickly before Jared splintered the wood with his exuberant hammering.  
  
Eyes sparkling brightly in his rosy cheeked face, Jared stood beaming on his doorstep. Snow covered his hair and broad shoulders like a glossy layer of powdered sugar, making him look even more edible than usual.  
  
"Hey, Jensen. Do I smell hot chocolate?" Jared had a knack for sniffing out anything chocolate related within a one mile radius.  
  
Jensen shook his head. “Jared, what are you doing here? It's late. You must be exhausted. Go home, sleep, maybe even shower first." Jensen screwed his nose up slightly at the unmistakable aroma of sweaty reindeer that was emanating from his friend.  
  
While Jensen was perfectly suited to fiddling with intricate clockwork toys and wrapping the most awkwardly shaped gifts, Jared's talents lay elsewhere. It had to be said that although he was incredibly intelligent and endearingly enthusiastic, Jared wasn't always in complete control of his limbs. After unsuccessful stints working in several different department, including forty minutes in the china doll workshop that had emotionally scarred everyone involved, Jared had eventually found his perfect job. Or rather his perfect job found him. The day Santa spotted Jared dashing around the meadow playing hide and go seek with Blitzen and Cupid, he'd immediately been appointed reindeer games-master. It may have been a newly invented position but it suited Jared perfectly. The reindeer loved him and the sentiment was entirely mutual. At this hectic time of the year when playing was out of the question, Jared spent long hours grooming the reindeer, polishing their tack and ensuring they were all thoroughly coated in enough magic to last their entire round-the-world trip.  
  
"Don't be grumpy, Jensen. It makes you sound like a dwarf." Jared peered over Jensen's head obviously trying to see if his hot chocolate suspicions were correct. "I'm too wired to sleep. I thought you might like some company."  
  
Standing back from the doorway, allowing Jared to squeeze past him, Jensen frowned slightly. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones racing around his body like a swarm of insanity inducing fireflies or maybe he'd just spent too long dissecting his feelings towards Jared, but the thought that Jared was visiting purely for a late-night booty call unexpectedly hurt.  
  
"Jared, I'm tired. I'm not in the mood for... you know-"  
  
"If you're not old enough to say it then you're not old enough to be doing it, Jensen." Jared singsonged, hauling off his snow covered boots and jacket before smoothly stealing Jensen's hot chocolate, licking a trickle of cream from the side of the mug.  
  
"Sex, Jared. I'm not in the mood for sex." Jensen scowled and the pointy tips of his ears turned pink in embarrassment at being forced to say it.  
  
"Aw Jensen, not that I don't want to get up close and personal with that cute bubble bottom of yours… but that's not what I had in mind for tonight." Jared waggled a brown paper bag in the air that Jensen hadn't noticed before. "Cookies, eggnog and a classic Christmas movie: Die hard! What do you think?"  
  
"I think I want to drink my hot chocolate, go to bed and sleep until New Year’s."  
  
A flash of hurt flickered across Jared's face as he placed the mug of hot chocolate back on the table. "Jensen, I know we've both had a busy couple of weeks what with the last minute Christmas rush and the reindeer acting up. Dancer instigating a prank war with Prancer might have been funny but it took days to get all the pink glitter out of his fur and trying to calm Rudolph down after he convinced himself his nose had lost its shine was a nightmare. Seriously man, that reindeer is a bigger diva than Mariah Carey when it comes to his nose. Anyway, I haven't seen you properly for weeks and well, it kinda feels like you're avoiding me."  
  
Jensen's eyes flitted away from Jared's face guiltily as he gave a noncommittal hum in response. He turned his back on his friend and pushed his front door shut before gathering enough courage to meet his eyes again. "Jared, I'm... I've been... I'm... sorry. I've just been busy with the toy making and the wrapping and the... things. Why don't you put on the movie and I'll make some eggnog."  
  
Jensen bolted through to his kitchen without giving Jared a chance to reply, silently calling himself several uncomplimentary names for his complete cowardice. He was going to have to break the news of his pregnancy to Jared sooner or later. It wasn't as though he could hide his weight gain and sudden alcohol intolerance for very much longer. It was only through the miracle of baggy clothing and long working hours that Jensen had managed to get through the past few weeks without drawing attention to his condition.  
  
He returned to the living room carrying Jared's eggnog just as John McClane was arriving at the Nakatomi Plaza building and the Die Hard title credits were rolling across the screen. Jared was sprawled over half of the couch as usual, leaving Jensen little option but to sit down right next to him; close enough that their thighs brushed together through the thin barrier of their velour pants. A box of homemade cookies had appeared on the table beside his mug of hot chocolate. Jensen handed Jared his glass of eggnog and peered at the cookies curiously.  
  
"Is that gingerbread men?"  
  
"Yeah... well, gingerbread people I think."  
  
"What is that...? Jared, is that gingerbread woman sucking that gingerbread man's-"  
  
"What? No! Oh heck, well maybe, yes." Jared's eyes widened and his face flushed in embarrassment. Rudolph would be jealous of the fiery glow radiating from his cheeks.  
  
"I take it you didn't make these tasty treats?" Jensen asked, examining a gingerbread man that had a frosted six-pack and messy chocolate hair.  
  
Jared shook his head frantically. "No, no, it was Sandy. She dropped by with them just as Santa and the reindeer were taking off. She said something about sharing them with a friend and a glass of eggnog beside a roaring fire."  
  
"So you brought them here?"  
  
"Obviously. Who else would I want to share them with?"  
  
Jared was trying to kill him with his obliviousness, obviously. "Jared, you don't think that Sandy was trying to suggest that you share these with _her_ do you? The pornographic figures might make more sense if she was."  
  
Jared looked scandalised at the suggestion. "Jensen! You're not suggesting that Sandy wants to lick my... eugh that's gross."  
  
"How is that gross? It's not like I've never sucked your...you know and you've sucked mine plenty of times."  
  
"Yeah, but that's different."  
  
"How is that different?"  
  
Jared squinted at Jensen as though he was a bauble short of a Christmas tree. "Because I like you," he said, as though stating the obvious.  
  
"Yeah, and you like Sandy too."  
  
"Not like that, I don't."  
  
"Really, Jared? You gave a pretty good impression of liking her when you drooled down her cleavage at the Christmas party."  
  
"Hey, I did not. Well maybe I did, but she had a candy necklace on. What was I supposed to do?"  
  
Jensen rolled his eyes. Jared's love of candy was getting seriously out of control. "Jared, Sandy is sweet, charming and beautiful and she bakes the crumbliest cookies in the North Pole. She's perfect." For you, Jensen meant, but couldn't bring himself to say.  
  
There was that look of hurt again. "Jensen, do _you_ like Sandy?"  
  
"Of course I do. I mean she can be a bit too - peppy, but... wait, you mean _like_ like. No!! No, of course not."  
  
"Good," Jared replied, a note of relief in his voice. "So, can we forget about Sandy and just eat the cookies, please?"  
  
Jensen rubbed his eyes, digging his fingers fiercely into his temples on the way past. "Jared, I think we need to talk."  
  
Jared groaned, grabbed the eggnog from the table where it was sitting beside the congealing mess of Jensen's cooling marshmallowed hot chocolate and downed it in one long gulp, screwing his nose up and shivering as the alcohol hit the back of his throat. "Do we have to? Can we not just watch Bruce Willis take on Snape?"  
  
"Jared..."  
  
With a resigned sigh, Jared slumped back in the seat and crossed his arms. "Okay, okay. I’ve been expecting this ever since you started avoiding me. Hit me with it."  
  
"Uh, okay. Jared-"  
  
Undergoing an abrupt change of heart, Jared cut him off, leaping to his feet Iike a demented jack-in-the-box. "Nonono wait. Just let me say something first. I know, okay."  
  
Jensen's jaw dropped open in surprise, literally, which was neither an attractive nor intelligent response. "You do?"  
  
"Of course I do. I'm not a complete idiot."  
  
"Okay then." Jensen took a deep breath and prepared himself for Jared's reaction. "So... what do you think? Are you shocked, upset, happy? Are you mad at me?"  
  
"Mad at you? Well, yeah I guess I am mad at you. You are going away to break my heart and ruin my life after all."  
  
That was not the reaction Jensen had hoped for. "I'm what? Don't you think that's a little unfair?"  
  
"Unfair?"  
  
"Yeah, I mean I understand that it's a shock and all, but it takes two to tango, you know. It's not just my fault."  
  
"Two to tango!" Squeaked Jared. "Did you cheat on me?"  
  
"No I did not, you ass! Are you trying to say that the baby isn't yours? Really? I can't believe you."  
  
"Baby? What baby. Jensen what are you talking about?" Jared's voice shot high enough to put a pubescent choir boy to shame.  
  
"Whoa... okay. Let's just stop and breathe for a second." Jensen said, standing up slowly and, backing away from the couch and Jared, despite the best efforts of his shaking legs to persuade him that it was an unadvisable idea. "Jared, you said you knew what I wanted to talk to you about. What exactly do you think you know?"  
  
"I know," Jared squeaked, coughed, cleared his throat and started again, his voice dropping to a more masculine level second time around. "I know that you're sick of me. That you're going away to kick my stupid, immature, klutzy ass to the curb, but I can change, Jensen. I promise. Just give me another chance, please."  
  
Unhappiness didn't suit Jared; he usually shone bright with optimism and good cheer. Jared was the sparkle that lit up Jensen's life and the thought that he'd caused the expression of misery on his friend’s face hit Jensen like a reindeer hoof to the heart. "I'm going to what? No, no Jared. That's not... I'm not sick of you. How could you even think that? You're not immature. You're amazing. You're my best friend and I... Jared, I love you. I'm in love with you."  
  
Jensen held his breath waiting for Jared to baulk at the L word. To leave or to punch his nose or even worse to give him a pitying smile and a pat on the shoulder with a gentle let-down.  
  
Instead, a grin bright enough to melt the polar icecaps exploded across Jared's face.  
  
"You do? You do. That's freakin’ awesome! Oh man, you had me worried there."  
  
Jensen blinked, stunned. "You don't mind?"  
  
"Why on earth would I mind? I've been in love with you forever."  
  
"No you haven't," Jensen bit back with absolutely certainty. He could never be that lucky. "You have? No, you haven't. That's not possible. Why would you love _me_? Look at you. You're all young and gorgeous and funny and popular and," Jensen swirled his hand around in a vague gesture at Jared's face. "You’re all you and I'm... I'm just me. You're going to fall in love with Sandy or Genevieve or one of those other perfect little elves with their perky boobs and their pretty faces and their dainty little ears."  
  
"No, I'm not."  
  
"Yes, you are."  
  
"No, Jensen I'm really not," Jared laughed.  
  
"But… why not?"  
  
"Why would I want anyone else when I have you? I love you, you stubborn elf. You're kind and sweet in a grumpy kind of way and prettier than anyone I've ever seen… handsome," Jared quickly corrected himself as Jensen narrowed his eyes dangerously at his choice of adjective. “You're ruggedly handsome with your plump lips and your thick curly eyelashes and your peachy butt cheeks that were just made to be licked and bitten and spanked with a-"  
  
"Jared!" It was Jensen's turn to squeak this time.  
  
Jared stepped toward Jensen, closing the distance between them until he could reach out and take Jensen's hands in his. "I love you, Jensen. I want you, not Gen or Sandy or any other elf… you."  
  
Then Jared's lips were on Jensen's, stealing his breath away and wiping any thought of arguing clear from his head. Wiping every thought clear from his head other than _yes_ and _please_ and _more_. It was a kiss unlike any they'd shared before. More intense than anything Jensen had ever experienced. A glittering display of fairy lights twinkled behind his closed eyes as Jared's soft lips pressed against his. The kiss wasn't dirty. It wasn't deep or hungry. It was pure magic. Like stardust bursting across his lips, setting his whole body alight.  
  
Jensen felt almost bereft when Jared's lips left his. Only until he realised that Jared was now dragging him in the direction of the bedroom, callously leaving behind a barefooted Bruce Willis to save the day without them. Jensen's mind was a whirl with the knowledge that Jared loved him. That Jared wanted him. He felt as though he was fizzing with happiness, like champagne bubbles were exploding under his skin. His jaw ached from grinning so hard. It wasn't until Jared pushed him down on to the bed and stripped off his stripy woollen sweater and thermal shirt, baring his chiselled abs that he remember there was something rather important he still hadn't told Jared.  
  
"Jared, wait," Jensen stuttered trying to focus on the problem at hand rather than the way the Northern Lights glowing through his window highlighted the golden hue of Jared's naked body.  
  
"Jensen, are you okay? What's wrong? Don't you want-" Jared wrapped his arms across his chest nervously. It made him appear oddly young and vulnerable.  
  
Jensen reached up, grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him down so they were sitting pressed together, side by side on the bed. "Of course I want this. Want you. But Jared, I have something to tell you. Something big... something huge. And it's okay if you freak out because I did and I'm not putting any pressure on you; you can walk away now and-"  
  
"Jeez Jensen, you're already freaking me out. Just tell me." Jared's fingers entwined with Jensen's squeezing gently, grounding Jensen, calming his racing heart down enough to finally spit the words out.  
  
"I'm pregnant. With a baby. Your baby."  
  
It was a full minute before Jared finally managed to stutter out a response. "You're... with a... with my... "  
  
"Jared? Jared, could you let go of my hand please. My fingers are starting to look like squashed chipolatas."  
  
"How? I mean, how? You're not a... I mean you have a... down there, you have a... and not a... "  
  
"Yes, I have a penis, thank you for noticing." Jensen snarked, slightly stung by Jared's reaction despite himself. It was a lot to take in, he knew. He'd just foolishly hoped deep down that against all the odds, Jared might be happy or at least not stunned senseless at the news. "Magic, apparently. All this industrial strength magic in the atmosphere, keeping us hidden and distorting time, well, it has side-effects."  
  
"Our baby is a side effect?"  
  
A warm shiver tingled in Jensen at hearing Jared say 'our' baby. "Well, a side effect of the magic and of you fucking my ass into the bed every week."  
  
"Jensen," Jared admonished, "Don't cuss in front of the baby."  
  
"The baby's not even five months along yet, you numbskull." Jensen said, nudging his elbow lightly in Jared's ribs.  
  
Jared bounced up from the bed and jumped in front of Jensen, looking down at him with wonder in his eyes and dimples bored deeply into his cheeks. "Jensen, you're pregnant!"  
  
"Yes Jared, I know." Jensen tried hard not to roll his eyes, truly he did.  
  
"No, I mean, you're pregnant! You're going to have a baby. Our baby! That's just... just fudging incredible!"  
  
"You aren't upset?" Jensen asked, too nervous to really believe that Jared wasn't flipping out and running for the hills.  
  
"Of course I'm not upset, you moron. This is awesome! This is like the best Christmas present ever. The best Christmas present in the whole history of Christmas presents. You love me and you're having our baby. Jensen- ". Jared dropped to a crouch, tenderly cupped Jensen's face in the warmth of his hands and kissed the tip of his nose. Jensen exhaled a little gasp of surprise and Jared laughed before pressing their lips together in a gentle kiss. "I love you," he breathed into Jensen's mouth. "I love you so much and I couldn't be happier."  
  
The kiss fell apart as Jensen's lips broke wide into a smile. "Get up here," he said, grabbing Jared's arm and yanking him up beside him on the bed. Jared needed little urging, climbing on to the bed and shuffling them both up the mattress so they could lie down, arms wrapped around one another and legs twisted together. They melted together in a glorious puddle of hot breathy promises, gentle caresses and sweet kisses.  
  
"Jensen," Jared murmured, nosing into the dip of his throat, his thumb tracing down the sensitive shell of Jensen's ear. "I'm half naked."  
  
Jensen hummed in agreement, too busy shivering under Jared's ministrations and running his fingers across that gorgeous naked skin to verbalise his appreciation.  
  
"I mean, you're not." Jared whispered in his ear. "How about we both undress, slip under the covers and I'll show you exactly how much I love you."  
  
That was a marvellous plan. Jared naked was always a suggestion that Jensen approved of. Stripping off his own clothes however, was a decidedly more unnerving proposition. "Jared, I'm pregnant."  
  
"I know, baby. It's amazing. Ow, ow! Hey, what was that for?" Jared griped, rubbing the poor abused nipple that Jensen had just twisted with unnecessary vigour.  
  
"Do not call me baby," Jensen growled, unrepentant even in the face of Jared's pathetic pout.  
  
A lopsided smile replaced the pout. Even when Jensen was being a grade A grouch, Jared somehow found it cute. Jensen would never understand him. He'd never stop loving him either. "Okay, I'm sorry ba... Jensen. I'm sorry, Jensen."  
  
Ignoring the almost slip-up, Jensen dipped his head and brushed his lips against the nipple he'd so cruelly pinched, kissing away the hurt. Continuing with growing fervour, he placed a matching kiss on Jared's other nipple before peppering kisses across the entire expanse of his chest.  
  
"Jensen, oh my, Jensen, I need... you need to stop doing that for one minute and get naked."  
  
Aah yes, that had been what Jensen was trying to explain when Jared distracted him. "Jared, I'm pregnant."  
  
Jared smirked and looked incredibly pleased with himself so Jensen hurriedly carried on before he felt the urge to squeeze something else. "I'm really pregnant. Nearly five months."  
  
"I can't believe you didn't tell me sooner."  
  
"Well, I only found out myself a few weeks ago. It's not like it was the first thing that popped into my head when my pants started getting tight. I needed a bit of time to figure out what the fu... fudge I was going to do before I worked up the courage to tell you. Anyway, that's not the point. Jared, I'm... I'm fat."  
  
"What?"  
  
"What are you deaf?" Jensen snapped. "I said I'm fat. My belly's all squidgy and bulgy and even my butt's spreading like some kind of alien life-form."  
  
"You are not fat."  
  
"Jared!"  
  
"Hush Jensen, and listen to me. You are not fat; you're pregnant. That little bulge you're so worried is our baby. Our perfect little baby."  
  
"I don't think it's that little, Jared."  
  
"Let me see. Come on, strip."  
  
"Jared," Jensen whined.  
  
"Jensen," Jared countered with a determined tone that brooked no argument, wriggling out of his own pants and underwear.  
  
Jensen knew when he was beat. Jared, though as sweet natured as a marshmallow puff, was blessed with a dogged persistence that was impossible to defeat.  
  
Grateful for the dim lighting in the room, he reluctantly stripped off his clothes until he was as naked as Jared. The second his boxer briefs hit the floor, he scrambled under his fluffy duvet pulling it up until only the top of his head was visible.  
  
Shaking his head at him, Jared climbed in the bed at a more leisurely pace. "You're beautiful, Jensen."  
  
Jensen knew better than to argue but he couldn't prevent a little snort of disbelief from escaping. Tugging free Jensen's death grip of the duvet, Jared crawled in beside him and enveloped him in a warm hug. His lips pushed against Jensen's, stopping him from uttering any further embarrassing noises. This time the gentle press of lips graduated into a deeper, more demanding kiss. Jared showed no restraint, he devoured Jensen's mouth until every thought in Jensen's head had been banished and the tension rippling through his muscles had fled. Jensen ran his fingers through the tangled waves of Jared's hair, relishing the heat and strength surrounding him. He breathed in Jared's musky scent, the hint of reindeer not remotely bothering him anymore and relaxed utterly in Jared's embrace. He was so blissfully pliant, he didn't even tense up when Jared kissed a meandering path down his throat and over his chest, his tongue doing wicked things to Jensen's nipples, before working his way lower. The light kisses to his belly tickled and Jensen wriggled as much as his boneless state allowed.  
  
Jared looked up from where he was mapping out the curve of Jensen's stomach, his eyes glittering with tears. "You're amazing. You're so beautiful and you're carrying our baby in here. It's just... it's magical, Jensen."  
  
For the first time, Jensen looked at his changing body with something other than a pained grimace. He gazed down and smiled. The soft swell of his belly was magic. It wasn't fat. It was home to Jensen and Jared's growing baby. It was a miracle.  
  
Jared made love to Jensen slowly. Kissing every inch of his body from the faint freckles on his nose right down to his tips of his toes. He didn't stop until Jensen was squirming below him on the bed, overstimulated and overwhelmed, begging Jared with a broken husk of a voice, for release. They drifted off to sleep a short while later, snuggled together in a tangle of overheated limbs, both utterly sated and blissfully exhausted.  
  
  
  
The sweet sensation of gentle circles being rubbed across his belly woke Jensen in the most delightful way imaginable. He remained perfectly still, not moving a single muscle, his back pressed tight against Jared's chest; the moist air of every breath Jared exhaled tickling the sensitive skin along the tips of his ears. He lay basking in the protective warmth of Jared's embrace, simply enjoying the peaceful moment until the need to see Jared grew too urgent. He turned in Jared's arms, blinked opened his eyes and was met with an adoring look of love that completely obliterated any lingering doubt Jensen had that Jared might have changed his mind about his feelings towards him in the cold light of day. Or... you know, the cold dark of day - it being winter in the North Pole and all.  
  
"Good morning, sleepyhead." Jared said, "and Merry Christmas."  
  
Leaning forward, Jensen kissed Jared good morning before replying with a drowsy, 'Merry Christmas' of his own.  
  
"Do you think Santa came?" Jared asked, sounding more like a four year old boy rather than a fully grown elf who spoke to Santa most days and played with his reindeer for a living. “I asked him for a penguin this year.”  
  
Jensen let that sink in for a moment before responding. “Jared, Santa is not going to give you a penguin.”  
  
“But they’re so cute! And the reindeer would love to have a little penguin to play with."  
  
It was far too early in the day for this conversation. “Comet and Vixen would use the poor thing as a soccer ball and Dasher would try to eat it. Jared, penguins don’t even live in the North Pole.”  
  
“That’s why I asked for one for each of us. Our penguins can fall in love and have penguin babies, then there _will_ be penguins in the North Pole. How cool will that be?” Jared had put a disturbing amount of thought into this.  
  
Jensen let his eyes drift close again as he replied. "I don't know, Jared. I'm not even sure that Santa brings presents to elves that knock up their best friends."  
  
"How about elves that knock up the love of their lives?" Jared murmured, brushing his lips across Jensen's cheek and stroking his hand across the swell of his stomach.  
  
"Well, I guess that's different," Jensen replied softly, opening his eyes again to watch Jared's fingers drawing love-hearts over the bed-warm skin of his baby bump. Jensen honestly didn’t care if he received a gift or not. Santa Claus couldn't possibly give him anything better than what he already had; the elf he loved lying in his bed, giggling and blowing sloppy raspberries on his pudgy belly.  
  
Santa _had_ left a couple of gifts for his two favourite employees. Not penguins, much to Jensen’s relief. Waiting under Jensen's neatly trimmed little Christmas tree were two palm sized boxes wrapped in shimmering silver paper and rainbow coloured bows. Inside the sparkling boxes were two golden rings. It was hardly a subtle hint but after an awkward pause then nearly simultaneous proposals, Jared and Jensen started the New Year in wonderful newly-married bliss. Santa presented them with a pair of penguins as a wedding gift.  
  
Finis - thank you for reading!


End file.
